time

There's this funny thing called time, and I have to figure it out.
Because I run a workout and the last mile feels like its never going to end, but
it was 8 minutes.
Because I blink and I am 20 years old, working on a career plan-on my own life-when yesterday I was an eighth grader madly in love with these two new little nieces, and now

it's been 6 years.
Because I sit there counting seconds, doing homework for what feels like forever, and
it's been 30 minutes.
Because I spend the nights planning what I'll do in college and now,
it's been a year and a half.
It's because of all this, that I wonder about this tricky little thing called time. I wonder what time will do to my face as I grow old. I wonder what time will do to yogurt thats 5 years old.  I wonder where time will take me after a while. I wonder why I feel the way I do sometimes.

I had my two youngest nieces with me this past week and I thought a lot about time. But it wasn't like I usually think about the time. When I usually think about time, I mostly plea for answers about where the time has gone, but this week, I thought about first times and last times.
You see, my nieces and I are sharing some firsts.
This is my first time to affect someone's life from the very beginning. And I am their first and only shot at a single, adult aunt, free from most real-life obligations. Some of their interactions with people, some of their choices, and some of my characteristics will be because of my behavior. I think its a really special privilege, and also a really huge one. My persona of "Aunt Andi" is one of the things I am most proud of. I like seeing the part of myself that I know doesn't love them for what they've done, or who they are, but loves them simply because they are. But I need to take a closer look at how they see me. As they get older they'll see new things about me, and understand more. I hope I stand up to the scrutiny they begin to develop. I want to be someone that they gain only positive things from, even if its only that they learn to NOT do what Aunt Andi did. :) It will only be a finite amount of time that I will be family-free, career-free, and completely wrapped up in them. I pray I cherish every minute of it.
This week was also my first time to be instructed on how to change a diaper by a two year old.
Before I put Julie's new diaper on, she demanded that I say "Ew shoooo-ieeee" and plug my nose and air dry her bottom with the new diaper. I obliged with a laugh.
This was poor Katie's time to throw up with just me to take care of her. I withstood the challenge and only gagged once, but more than once, sad, sick little Katie had to throw up holding a baggie while I was carrying her to a convenience store restroom, with a toddler in tow. Sigh. That trip also felt like it was much longer that it was.
I'll spend the rest of my life figuring out this time stuff.

In other news, this happened! I'm so glad its an Olympic year and I'm so glad Kara gets to go!