I might buy me a cabin, and take all that I need

"In the short years I've lived, I've learned a lot of things, but the one thing I know- it takes more than just me."

There's a lot of things going on right now that I don't understand. 

"Monkey in the middle" is the only way I would know how to describe it.

I'm being pulled a thousand different ways over a thousand different things, and though I exaggerate, it sometimes feels like that number is accurate.

I know who I want to be. Correction... I THINK I know who I want to be.

And while I don't know what I want to do, I have a lot of good ideas.

I want to study exercise science, hit up a midwifery school, and open a birthing center, with prenatal workout classes and relaxing birthing experiences. I love women's health!

I want to conquer the world (go to medical school), say I can do it, and actually do it and be an OB/GYN

I want to get into the music business, move to a big city and do all sorts of high rollin' city girl, legit music business type things. Put on a concert, plan a tour.

Sometimes, though, I just want to get married, live in a house, and spend my days cutting the crust off of peanut butter sandwiches and wiping snot. I don't know why that sounds so great, but it does.

There's this policy I have now. Its unspoken but I've been living by it pretty consistently recently.

Okay, say there's a fork in the road, a decision to make.

I, first of all, evaluate my choices. 

Then, I pick the risky one, something out of my comfort zone.

Next, I enjoy the journey of stretching and bending to make it work, learning new things along the way until it either turns out, or I go back to square one and try something else.

My logic on this comes from the fact that I'm a dreamer, so why not reach for the stars, while I'm still young and the world hasn't taken all my freedom and hope (if it ever does.)

But I stopped last night. For once I knew the right choice. I knew what I wanted. I might have even known how to acquire it, hook, line, and sinker. 

I gave up. 

That's the way it goes sometimes.

Maybe it will want me back someday.

But, like the song goes, 

"Not today, today, today. Tomorrow it may change."

Also tomorrow, I get to see this

 and this

 and this

 and this